Communications in those days (early 1980s) was pretty good. Besides the phone system (there were actually two systems), there was the radio. Every block had one. Unlike today, you could not tell who was calling in unless you recognized the voice. Today the radio user unit number shows up in the control room.
There was more than communication on those radio's at times... You would hear all kinds of odd noises. One night there were several sounds like something dropping in water and then the sound of a toilet flushing. You don't have to be a rocket scientist to figure out what that was. You would hear an occasional flush or the sound of urination, but once in a while someone would fart over the radio, and if you had the volume up it would sound pretty cool. Supervision got sick of it after a while though and started to crack down on unauthrorized radio usage. They were just jealous.
I had one inmate in the “Hole” or “Tiger Cage” as it was called in those days. They don't use those terms much anymore. Anyway, back then they allowed smoking in all county buildings, including the jail. I came in to work one night and he said, "Hey, dep? What would you do if I set myself on fire?" I told him I would go down to the kitchen, get some hot dogs and have an old fashioned weenie roast. He thought I was nuts.
I did a lot of jobs throughout my career besides working the blocks. I transported inmates through the old county court tunnel. I worked intake a couple of times. I even worked at a medical center lockup, but most of the time I worked the blocks. In my 25 1/2 years I had just one inmate "hang-up" on me. I cut him down, they sent him to the hospital and they declared him brain dead. He lived for about eight days after that.
We had a lot of training classes throughtout my career. CPR, First Aid, Article 35 (use of force), defensive tactics. I hated that one. I was always hoping I'd get hurt so I could get time off.
In one class (I can't remember which), they asked us what we would do if we found an inmate hanging. I said I would call the kitchen and cancel his next meal. I don't think the powers that be liked that one too much, though...
I remember walking inamtes through the county court tunnel ( the tunnel went from the holding center, under the street and to the county court building). They would be cuffed behind their backs. Sometimes, they would be walking along, see a cigarette butt on the ground, and squat down to pick it up- not an easy maneuver. They could be very resourceful at times.
Monday, April 25, 2011
Friday, March 11, 2011
The Pen Years: 2
I'm glad everyone enjoyed the first post from my dads journal that he wrote about his career as a deputy sheriff. I got a good response from it (like, 300+ views good), so I'm releasing the second part of that saga today. This is a relitevely short part of his journal, but after him and I sit down, I'm sure I'll have enough material for quite a few more posts. Don't forget to leave comments if you have a question about jail life you want answered. Enjoy!
At the Penitentiary, you had Deputies and Correction Officers working side by side. Correction Officers watched inmates that were already sentenced for their crimes; Deputies watched unsentenced inmates. The majoirt of the times that the two worked together was on the Young Mens Block.
Earlier in my career, it was suggested that I get an alarm watch. This came in handy on the midnight shift. You could set it in case you fell asleep or you wanted to catch a nap inbetween rounds. One officer, however, chose to bring an alarm clock to work. So when he woke up, so did everyone else... including the inmates.
At the Pen, the cell blocks were quite large. 52 cells per block- 26 on each side. There was an enclosed area between them called a pipe chase. The pipe chase at the Pen was a lot larger than at the main jail; it was like a rest haven for Duputies. Some guys had TVs or radios- this was only in linear jails (older jails with bars). You could also listen to inmates' conversations (behind their cells).
One night, I brought in a fake rat with a real long piece of string attached to it (150 feet or so). I gave the inmates time to quite down. I took the rat out of the back door of the pipe chase and waited a bit longer. When I made my rounds, I got around the back, grabbed the string, and let it out until it was taut. Then the rat started moving up the cellblock along the Deputies' walkway, which of course was seperate from the inmate common area. It got about half-way down when an inmate yelled out, "Look at the SIZE of that friggin rat!" (I cleaned that up a bit...).
Those were the good old days. Back in those days, they kept all the gay inmates on the same block- imagine that happening in todays politically correct society...
Anyway, if you worked days or afternoons, the crims would be out of their cells a lot. They would be doing each others hair and singing weird songs like "She's A Stranger to Me," "I Like the Way He Walks," or "Back Door Man." A fellow officer was working that block quite often and he told me a story. One night, he was making rounds and caught two of the inmates having sex. He told them to cease and desist and one inmate said I'm just checking his oil with my dipstick.
Back Home
After New Years of 1985, I went back to the main holding center, moslty because it was close to home and I had some seniority built up by then. I stayed on the midnight shift for another five years. During that time, I met quite a few sleezeballs. A criminal they called the 22 Cal. killer was one of them. I also had an inmate in a solitary unit (called the Tiger Cage) that sexually assaulted a ministers daughter. The minister actually attacked the inmate in court on one occasion; it was shown on television. (I'll look for a link to the story, guys. No luck so far- not sure if there even is one...)
Inmates complained no matter where you worked. One inmate complained about the bugs in his cell. I told him No pets in jail- they don't eat much anyway. He kept complaining, so I told him to send them in the mail to someone. He sent them to a Federal Judge. The jail was fumigated within a week.
One thing I miss about work was all the jokes I heard. The black inmates would tell me the Puerto Rican jokes, the Puerto Ricans would tell me the black jokes, and the white criminals would tell me all the others. Here's a few examples:
How come blacks and Puerto Ricans do not intermarry? They're afraid their kids would be to lazy to steal.
How come Puerto Ricans have such difficulty signing their name? It's hard to write with a can of spray paint.
How does a Polish guy count to 11? He opens his zipper.
Why wasn't the President of the United States ever circumsized? There's no end to that prick.
Ahh- what memories!
At the Penitentiary, you had Deputies and Correction Officers working side by side. Correction Officers watched inmates that were already sentenced for their crimes; Deputies watched unsentenced inmates. The majoirt of the times that the two worked together was on the Young Mens Block.
Earlier in my career, it was suggested that I get an alarm watch. This came in handy on the midnight shift. You could set it in case you fell asleep or you wanted to catch a nap inbetween rounds. One officer, however, chose to bring an alarm clock to work. So when he woke up, so did everyone else... including the inmates.
At the Pen, the cell blocks were quite large. 52 cells per block- 26 on each side. There was an enclosed area between them called a pipe chase. The pipe chase at the Pen was a lot larger than at the main jail; it was like a rest haven for Duputies. Some guys had TVs or radios- this was only in linear jails (older jails with bars). You could also listen to inmates' conversations (behind their cells).
One night, I brought in a fake rat with a real long piece of string attached to it (150 feet or so). I gave the inmates time to quite down. I took the rat out of the back door of the pipe chase and waited a bit longer. When I made my rounds, I got around the back, grabbed the string, and let it out until it was taut. Then the rat started moving up the cellblock along the Deputies' walkway, which of course was seperate from the inmate common area. It got about half-way down when an inmate yelled out, "Look at the SIZE of that friggin rat!" (I cleaned that up a bit...).
Those were the good old days. Back in those days, they kept all the gay inmates on the same block- imagine that happening in todays politically correct society...
Anyway, if you worked days or afternoons, the crims would be out of their cells a lot. They would be doing each others hair and singing weird songs like "She's A Stranger to Me," "I Like the Way He Walks," or "Back Door Man." A fellow officer was working that block quite often and he told me a story. One night, he was making rounds and caught two of the inmates having sex. He told them to cease and desist and one inmate said I'm just checking his oil with my dipstick.
Back Home
After New Years of 1985, I went back to the main holding center, moslty because it was close to home and I had some seniority built up by then. I stayed on the midnight shift for another five years. During that time, I met quite a few sleezeballs. A criminal they called the 22 Cal. killer was one of them. I also had an inmate in a solitary unit (called the Tiger Cage) that sexually assaulted a ministers daughter. The minister actually attacked the inmate in court on one occasion; it was shown on television. (I'll look for a link to the story, guys. No luck so far- not sure if there even is one...)
Inmates complained no matter where you worked. One inmate complained about the bugs in his cell. I told him No pets in jail- they don't eat much anyway. He kept complaining, so I told him to send them in the mail to someone. He sent them to a Federal Judge. The jail was fumigated within a week.
One thing I miss about work was all the jokes I heard. The black inmates would tell me the Puerto Rican jokes, the Puerto Ricans would tell me the black jokes, and the white criminals would tell me all the others. Here's a few examples:
How come blacks and Puerto Ricans do not intermarry? They're afraid their kids would be to lazy to steal.
How come Puerto Ricans have such difficulty signing their name? It's hard to write with a can of spray paint.
How does a Polish guy count to 11? He opens his zipper.
Why wasn't the President of the United States ever circumsized? There's no end to that prick.
Ahh- what memories!
Sunday, March 6, 2011
The Pen Years
Hey everyone. The following post is the first two pages of my dads journal about his time spent as a deputy in the world of law enforcement; it's pretty much word for word what he wrote. It's a bit short because I want to have a lot of these posts and there isn't a ton of material right now (20 pages or so). I plan on interviewing him and getting some more good stories for everyone to read; the material he has right now is absolutely hilarious in my opinion, so I hope you enjoy it!
The Pen Years
I spent 25 and a half years in Corrections. Until this day, I do not understand why they call it Corrections, because a very high percentage of those assholes are never corrected.
It was not a very rewarding career, but the money was OK and the pension is good... it beats the hell out of working.
Most of the first two years of my career were not spent at the main jail, but at an overflow facility which was in operation at the County Penitentiary. I worked mostly midnight shifts, and I did a lot of overtime on the day shift. I tired to get along with everyone on both sides of the bars, but sometimes it was difficult. I will try to remember a lot of the humorous things that happened in my career and share them with you here.
I got along pretty well with one of the criminals that worked as a trustee in the "Chow Hall" which is what the Cafeteria is referred to in my line of work. He came up to me one morning and said, "Hey, Dep... you don't drink the coffee here do you?" I told him No, I bring my own. He responded with "Good, because I piss in it." After explaining to him that most of the inmates liked the coffee, he said that he wondered in there was a future in it. I don't think urine flavored coffee would be a big seller.
I remembered the coffee encounter later on and asked one of the inmates if he liked a little wang in his coffee. He replied with No, I'm not Chinese.
We had inmates that could not be marched to the Chow Hall, so we fed them on the block (they were called F.O.Bs, as opposed to S.O.Bs, but that would work too). One morning, the deputies were all picking up the trays on their respective blocks. One of the deputies brought his trays down and said, "Hey, I didn't know they had sausage today." I told him they didn't. He showed us a tray and said, "Well what's this then?" An inmate had dropped a sausage sized loaf on the tray for my fellow Deputy to collect. I wonder if the culprit was Italian...
We figured out who the inmate was and dropped the turd in a small garbage can in front of his cell, just out of his reach.
They had a bakery out at the old Pen where they made donuts, rolls and other baked goods. One morning an inmate bit into a roll and found a cigarette butt. He asked me if I had a light; looking back, I think he might have had a smoking problem.
I worked the young men's block for a while. I wrote one inmate up three time in one week for exposing himself out the window to the females in the Rec Yard. He said he was trying to set up dates for when he got out. Another inmate showed me a legal document with his charges. One of them was statutory rape. He said, "I didn't do nothing to no statue." Maybe the pigeons wouldn't let him.
The Pen Years
I spent 25 and a half years in Corrections. Until this day, I do not understand why they call it Corrections, because a very high percentage of those assholes are never corrected.
It was not a very rewarding career, but the money was OK and the pension is good... it beats the hell out of working.
Most of the first two years of my career were not spent at the main jail, but at an overflow facility which was in operation at the County Penitentiary. I worked mostly midnight shifts, and I did a lot of overtime on the day shift. I tired to get along with everyone on both sides of the bars, but sometimes it was difficult. I will try to remember a lot of the humorous things that happened in my career and share them with you here.
I got along pretty well with one of the criminals that worked as a trustee in the "Chow Hall" which is what the Cafeteria is referred to in my line of work. He came up to me one morning and said, "Hey, Dep... you don't drink the coffee here do you?" I told him No, I bring my own. He responded with "Good, because I piss in it." After explaining to him that most of the inmates liked the coffee, he said that he wondered in there was a future in it. I don't think urine flavored coffee would be a big seller.
I remembered the coffee encounter later on and asked one of the inmates if he liked a little wang in his coffee. He replied with No, I'm not Chinese.
We had inmates that could not be marched to the Chow Hall, so we fed them on the block (they were called F.O.Bs, as opposed to S.O.Bs, but that would work too). One morning, the deputies were all picking up the trays on their respective blocks. One of the deputies brought his trays down and said, "Hey, I didn't know they had sausage today." I told him they didn't. He showed us a tray and said, "Well what's this then?" An inmate had dropped a sausage sized loaf on the tray for my fellow Deputy to collect. I wonder if the culprit was Italian...
We figured out who the inmate was and dropped the turd in a small garbage can in front of his cell, just out of his reach.
They had a bakery out at the old Pen where they made donuts, rolls and other baked goods. One morning an inmate bit into a roll and found a cigarette butt. He asked me if I had a light; looking back, I think he might have had a smoking problem.
I worked the young men's block for a while. I wrote one inmate up three time in one week for exposing himself out the window to the females in the Rec Yard. He said he was trying to set up dates for when he got out. Another inmate showed me a legal document with his charges. One of them was statutory rape. He said, "I didn't do nothing to no statue." Maybe the pigeons wouldn't let him.
New Blog!
Hey, guys. I appreciate you checking this blog out, as it's something different from what I normally do. I have a few other blogs, one some-what popular movie review blog with my friend Steve, a great beer blog where I tell you what to drink and why (although beer is beer, you shouldn't really need a reason to drink it) and a few other random ones. Today, I'm starting a new one that deals with an idea my old man had.
My dad worked in the world of law enforcement for decades. He's since retired, and not having all that much to do in his new found spare time, he decided to write his memoirs (I hope you say "memoirs" like John Malkovich did in Burn After Reading) from his time as a cop. As you can imagine, he's seen a lot of crazy/funny/weird/disturbing stuff over the years, so his writings are pretty interesting- in my opinion and hopefully yours too!
So this blog is basically me transferring what he wrote (and will continue to write) for you guys to read because honestly... it's pretty fucking funny. I'll sit down with him and try and jog his memory for more stories and I plan on reaching out to his collegues for more material for everyone to enjoy- I'm sure there's a lot of it.
So all of that being said, I hope you stop by from time to time for weekly updates and enjoy reading these blog posts.
My dad worked in the world of law enforcement for decades. He's since retired, and not having all that much to do in his new found spare time, he decided to write his memoirs (I hope you say "memoirs" like John Malkovich did in Burn After Reading) from his time as a cop. As you can imagine, he's seen a lot of crazy/funny/weird/disturbing stuff over the years, so his writings are pretty interesting- in my opinion and hopefully yours too!
So this blog is basically me transferring what he wrote (and will continue to write) for you guys to read because honestly... it's pretty fucking funny. I'll sit down with him and try and jog his memory for more stories and I plan on reaching out to his collegues for more material for everyone to enjoy- I'm sure there's a lot of it.
So all of that being said, I hope you stop by from time to time for weekly updates and enjoy reading these blog posts.
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